Friday, May 17, 2013

The Void

   (0 stars out of 5)
With a title like "The Void", you know what you're getting, Weaver. NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! STUPID! SO STUPID!

In Delta Quadrant, DONUT EATS YOU! We'll have to call this the Delta Donut, 'cause the Delta Triangle was already taken. Yes, it's another 'Becalmed in the Space Sargasso', except instead of calm it's full of desperate scavengers.

"Morality won't keep your life support systems running," gloats robber baron Valen after he steals everything but their life support systems. Despite his name, he's not much like the Valen who inspired the Minbari religion over on Babylon 5. Also, Valen's wrong. Today, for some reason, morality IS all you need. Well, morality, advanced technology and a great, big ball of magic, glowing, pixie dust.

Janeway does what she always does: sticks to her guns. It got her ship stranded seven years ago, and it nearly gets them killed today. No Captain Ransom, she! No Thief! No Killer! And yes, I love her for it. It's good to have principles. Sometimes the REAL WORLD even rewards us for having them. But mostly it's the writers. Give the crew of the Equinox nothing but crap, and they turn to crap. Give JANEWAY nothing but crap... and you get a delicious apple pandowdy!

It's all very pat and it makes its point and also it's mind-bogglingly, fan-staggeringly uninspiring. It all seems like empty platitudes and luck to me. And, in the end, while making love out of nothing at all, they play "Stirring Co-operation Montage" music over the technical explanations so we don't have to trouble ourselves wondering if their escape plan made any sense.

(Yes, I AM being harsher than necessary because A) I've been sick as a blood worm all week and 2) I'm about to see Into Darkness and I'm making room in my heart to love it all the more! And squee like a tiny little girl!!!)

In 2001, while the ratings plummeted and even my beloved uncle who started me loving Star Trek in the first place had given up watching, I'd heard a rumour that Voyager's seventh season would be its last, and more importantly, that the crew was going to get home BEFORE the end of it. Between 6 and 12 episodes would actually take place IN THE ALPHA QUADRANT. WITH CONSEQUENCES!?! I was so disappointed. Surely THIS re-hash of the animated series episode 'The Time Trap' could have been scuttled to make that happen? If only...

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