Thursday, April 25, 2013

Ashes to Ashes

**** (4 stars out of 5)
"Fun will now commence" declares Seven of Nine to her bratlings. We'll see, Seven. We'll see. I'm not sure arts and crafts will do it, but if all you Borg will stay quiet for awhile we might have some fun over here.

Ensign Lyndsay Ballard died offscreen three years ago, just as Ensign Ahni Jetal did in "Latent Image". The frequency of this happenstance makes me anticipate that any low-ranked lady we haven't seen lately is probably already dead. Someone check Headband Henly's room!

Just as Star Trek has found it necessary to begin recycling plots, the Kobali recycle people. This reproduction IS a rather interesting (if ghoulish) idea: they dig up the dead and tinker with them genetically until they turn Kobali, turn Kobali, turn Kobali and they really think so.

They also have amazingly fast shuttles. Ballard caught up 30,000 light years in under 6 months, not to mention just the miracle of FINDING Voyager? How come no one tries to reverse engineer this? Strap two Kobali shuttles to the nacelles and be back at Earth before the cottage cheese expires!

Also, Harry retroactively had a crush on Lyndsay at the Academy, while simultaneously dating Libby, and for the first three years on Voyager. All offscreen. Maybe it doesn't make sense, but they've got good chemistry. It's the old, old, tale. Boy meets Girl. Girl dies. Girl becomes Lizard. Lizard meets Boy. Boy and Lizard go ice skating.

"Ashes to Ashes" reminds us all that the Doctor can turn salamanders back to humans as easy as loading a hypospray. But I like these two. I like Harry, I like Lyndsay, I cared about their plight. So when it turns out the changes are much, much more than skin deep it's genuinely sad. Good work, Voyager. Sleep well. I shall most likely kill you in the morning.

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