Sunday, December 23, 2012


 *** (3 stars out of 5)

Borg are being destroyed, eaten alive, and left in piles by a species not entirely dissimilar to Ridley's Xenomorph AKA Giger's Alien AKA That Superior Version of This Crap-->

The Borg call them Species 8472, and in a stunning display of offensive indifference, our Starfleeters never bother to learn their real name. Granted, they're vicious, creepy, giant monsters who make piles of corpses and even a tiny scratch from their claws will painfully devour you alive, but diplomatic relations are never going to get anywhere if the first words out of a human's face hole are the Borg Designation.

Voyager is caught between the frying pan and a bunch of rickety CG ghoulies that are nothing like a frying pan.

Holographic Leonardo da Vinci's advice to Janeway is to pray. Janeway decides instead to appeal to a lower power: the Borg. "The Devil", if you will. Because Janeway thinks negotiating with "The closest thing to pure evil" is better than negotiating with something more powerful than the Borg that hates the Borg and is already killing the Borg.

Chakotay relates that story of the buzzard who took a monkey for a ride in the air wherein the buzzard refused to straighten up and fly right. No, sorry, the story of the fox who carried a scorpion across a river on its back and was stung to death, drowning them both. Janeway archly refuses Chakotay's excellent analogy and runs right up to hug the Borg.

So... uh, won't the Borg just assimilate her and thereby learn everything she knows? Well, yes, historically.

Only Janeway says that won't happen today! And apparently the Borg are so desperate or drunk or something that they agree. All Captain Kathy holds over their head is a rather flimsy threat: 'We won't give you our weapon research unless you leave us unassimilated.'

Somehow it does not occur to the Borg to assimilate them anyway, thus taking the information directly out of their minds. You know, as BORG DO and HAVE ALWAYS DONE.

Why doesn't it occur to them? Because we're doing a thing here that won't become clear until next year.

What we know so far is that those three-legged monsters are bigger badasses than the Borg because they slowly kill with a touch and blow up planets. Kill BORG with a touch. Blow up BORG planets.

I'm not saying Janeway necessarily backed the wrong "Scorpion", but she makes no attempt with the enemy of her enemy. So, no new friend. If the Federation rejected everyone whose motto is 'The weak shall perish' they wouldn't have Klingon allies, either.

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