Friday, September 28, 2012

Starship Down

*** (3 stars out of 5)
It's 'Disaster' once again, or 'The Poseidon Adventure', if you prefer. Well, 'Poseidon Adventure' without any water. Or maybe 'Watership Down' without rabbits?

Anyway, Defiant flounders in a gas giant, playing injured mouse spaceship to a Jem'Hadar cat spaceship. But they DO insist on going into the Gamma Quadrant on irrelevant errands, don't they?

Kira must directly confront her feelings of worship for her clearly mortal Emissary as she helps injured Captain Sisko cling to consciousness by telling him Bajoran Fables.

Bashir and Dax are stuck in a turbolift, growing ever colder with the oxygen running out. No hanky and or panky ensues, much to everyone's disappointment.

Quark and his disgruntled trade partner Hanok must overcome Quark's ingrained dishonesty and Hanok's high-and-mighty streak of hypocrisy, and take a deadly gamble on defusing an unexploded torpedo jutting through the wall. Or just get an Exocomp that's three days from retirement to do it...?

Worf has to ride herd on O'Brien's iconoclastic engineers, Muniz and Stevens. Somehow the Klingon Commander must strike a balance between striking up a conversation and striking them in the face with his mek'leth. (For the ladies.)

"Starship Down" is average space adventure. It's getting tough to sympathize with people who have everything they need at home but regularly go hours out of their way to do their shopping next to a crack den on a gang block in an enemy country in the midst of a holy war. Somehow Karemman trade agreements don't seem like sufficient reason to KEEP PROVOKING THE DOMINION! Did we ever see Captain Kirk zipping across the Neutral Zone for his weekly bag of Romulan weed? No, we did not.

(Speaking of weed, and otherwise apropos of nothing save the 25th Anniversary of ST:TNG's premiere, please enjoy this terrifying video.)

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