Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Destiny

*** (3 vipers out of 5)
Does it really make any difference what religious prophecy has to say when you can make it mean anything?

Prophetic warning arrives in the person of a defrocked Bajoran Vedek named Yarka, identical cousin of Daniel Jackson's father-in-law from Stargate. (I love Erick Avari: all across the multi-verse his job is to pop out of a library or museum and intone "DIRE PORTENTS SHALL ENTOMB THE FAITHLESS!")

Today he's in a snit about a 3000-year-old text that features the Emissary (Sisko) and also three vipers that threaten the Celestial Temple (wormhole) and possibly something about a sword of stars except I nodded off for a moment there. But  we're VERY clear about the three vipers! Dodge the vipers, I say!

By no coincidence, three lady Cardassian nerds have come aboard in peace to put up a cell phone tower in the Gamma Quadrant.  Ulani the good witch, Dejar the bad witch, and Gilora, the horny witch. Because of O'Brien's overt hostility, Gilora's convinced the Chief has the hots for her. Hilarity ensues! (Put on your scronkin' goggles, she's 'Racy' Tracy Scoggins.)

You've heard of dilithium and trilithium, now here's a whole comet full of si-lithium.  Or perhaps Sy Lithium, a battery salesman from Jersey City? Can Sisko and Kira find common ground between science and nonsense, uh, religion... in time to prevent this dirty snowball from getting all over their nice, clean Celestial Temple?

"Destiny" is standard fare, most notable as far as I'm concerned for a couple of Ferengi Rules of Acquisition that explain a lot about their financial stability through the centuries.  #34: War is Good for Business, and #35: Peace is Good for Business.

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